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Thread: Ponderisms

  1. #1
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
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    Red face Ponderisms

    ponderisms



    * i used to eat a lot of natural foods until i learned that most people
    die of natural causes.



    * there are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.



    * life is sexually transmitted.



    * healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



    * the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.



    * health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
    nothing.



    * have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days not one talks
    about seeing ufo’s like they used to?



    * whenever i feel blue, i start breathing again.



    * all of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
    criticism.



    * in the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
    weird and people take prozac to make it normal.



    * how is it one careless match can start a forestfire, but it takes a whole
    box to start a campfire?



    * who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “i think i’ll squeeze
    these dangly things and drink whatever comes out.” ?



    * if jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?



    * if quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?



    * do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?



    * does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?



    * why doesn’t glue stick inside of the bottle?



    *** do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address?












  2. #2
    gpr_redneck's Avatar
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    HAHA those are some good ones, my fav is proly

    * who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “i think i’ll squeeze
    these dangly things and drink whatever comes out.” ?

  3. #3
    Pettee's Avatar
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    Ive always wondered things like that. Like the Egg. WTF said they were gonna eat the next thing that chicken pushed out its ass.

    and bull riding. I woudl have loved to be there with the drunk guys who said it would be fun to tie a rope around that bulls balls, and ride it till they fell off.

  4. #4
    Mike xsockguyx's Avatar
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    *why doesn’t glue stick inside of the bottle?

    Because it has less surface area inside of the bottle

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