smart ass answers








>>Smart Ass Answer #5:

>>

>>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

>>

>>As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

>>his

>>trench coat and flashed at her.

>>

>>Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not

>>your stub."

>>

>>*****************

>>

>>

>>Smart Ass Answer #4:

>>

>>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

>>she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

>>

>>She asked a stock boy,

>>

>>"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

>>

>>The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

>>

>>*******************

>>Smart Ass Answer #3:

>>

>>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

>>

>>rolled down his window.

>>

>>"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

>>

>>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

>>

>>When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way

>>without

>>a ticket.

>>

>>*******************

>>

>>Smart Ass Answer #2:

>>

>>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.

>>

>>A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."

>>

>>Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck

>>under the bridge.

>>

>>Cars are backed up for miles.

>>

>>Finally, a police car comes up.

>>

>>The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands

>>on

>>his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

>>

>>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of

>>gas."

>>

>>*******************

>>

>>AND NOW...FOR...THE...#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR

>>

>>A college professor reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now

>>class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

>>

>>I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

>>illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

>>excuses

>>whatsoever!"

>>

>>A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

>>

>>"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete

>>and utter sexual exhaustion?"

>>

>>The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence

>>was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her

>>head

>>and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

>>other hand."