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Thread: Smart Answers

  1. #1
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
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    Talking Smart Answers

    smart ass answers








    >>Smart Ass Answer #5:

    >>

    >>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

    >>

    >>As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

    >>his

    >>trench coat and flashed at her.

    >>

    >>Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not

    >>your stub."

    >>

    >>*****************

    >>

    >>

    >>Smart Ass Answer #4:

    >>

    >>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

    >>she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

    >>

    >>She asked a stock boy,

    >>

    >>"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

    >>

    >>The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

    >>

    >>*******************

    >>Smart Ass Answer #3:

    >>

    >>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

    >>

    >>rolled down his window.

    >>

    >>"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

    >>

    >>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

    >>

    >>When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way

    >>without

    >>a ticket.

    >>

    >>*******************

    >>

    >>Smart Ass Answer #2:

    >>

    >>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.

    >>

    >>A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."

    >>

    >>Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck

    >>under the bridge.

    >>

    >>Cars are backed up for miles.

    >>

    >>Finally, a police car comes up.

    >>

    >>The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands

    >>on

    >>his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

    >>

    >>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of

    >>gas."

    >>

    >>*******************

    >>

    >>AND NOW...FOR...THE...#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR

    >>

    >>A college professor reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now

    >>class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

    >>

    >>I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

    >>illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

    >>excuses

    >>whatsoever!"

    >>

    >>A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

    >>

    >>"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete

    >>and utter sexual exhaustion?"

    >>

    >>The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence

    >>was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her

    >>head

    >>and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

    >>other hand."


  2. #2
    RxPrider's Avatar
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    thats GREAT!!!

  3. #3

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    Good one.

  4. #4

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    I now see the light! I'm not a good smart ass... and the next time I get accused of such I'll turn them over to a pro.

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