Thread: Question and Answers + some
10-19-2006, 09:32 PM #1
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Question and Answers + some
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A .They don't have balls to scratch
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he sees a girl standing at the edge of a cliff, crying. "Hey," he says, "if you're going to jump, how about giving me a blow job before you do it?" "My life's been nothing but crap," says the girl. "So I might as well." After the girl's done, the guy says, "Wow, that was great! Why are you so depressed, anyway?" The girl replies, "My family disowned me for dressing like a woman."
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed. Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up, admits the surgeon. I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis. What! gasps the patient. You mean I'll never experience another erection? Oh, you might, the surgeon reassures him. Just not yours.
10-20-2006, 12:34 PM #2
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the
ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be
$9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the
exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A
hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his
pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places
it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact
change in your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would
just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for
as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the
exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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