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  1. #1
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    League City, Texas

    Talking No Puns Intended

    1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
    ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
    you, but don't start anything."

    3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

    4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
    says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
    taste funny to you?"

    7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
    sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not

    8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
    Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
    you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

    9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
    to look at either.

    10. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
    couldn't find any.

    12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
    "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know
    you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

    13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

    14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
    says "Dam!"

    16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
    the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
    your kayak and heat it too.

    17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
    standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
    hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to
    Disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he
    said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
    to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
    Spain; they name him "Juan." Year's later; Juan sends a picture of
    himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
    that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
    "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

    19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
    which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
    little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
    from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A
    super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns
    to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make
    them laugh. No pun in ten did.

  2. #2
    WATER WOODY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Minden, Nevada, United States
    The first one hit my funny bone.

  3. #3
    oldmanraider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    I liked 19 the best

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