Thread: Sex Contract
03-29-2007, 07:15 PM #1
Sex ContractSEX CONTRACT
I, _______________________, hereby surrender all possibilities of friendship, commitment, marriage, guilt-trips and near-pregnancies in exchange for one (1) night of USDA approved fondling and fornication. I will not return to the scene of said activities, nor call, write or otherwise contact/harass or vex said co-signer of contract for a time of no less than thirty (30) days and nights after said activities have been fulfilled. I also surrender all rights to propagate rumors, misnomers and dirty looks in the cafeteria from myself and friends, and will treat said co-signer with all the respect due a stranger. I will say "hi" if we pass within ten (10) meters in a friendly, if not neutral, tone. I will also upon completion of heretofore listed activities not leave underwear, earrings or other insignificant yet oh-so-valuable knick-knacks lying about or hidden somewhere in the co-signer's abode for the sole purpose of returning to said abode and breaking the no-contact agreement of this document. I furthermore state that I am of sound mind and desirable body, and will not call said co-signer by any other name than is his or her own, nor reminisce on some former slime-ball/great lover who wore the same cologne, roll-on, boxer shorts or robe. I will also pay one-half of all laundry fees as needed after prescribed activity.
Fornicator At Large
03-29-2007, 07:50 PM #2
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
that is hilarious!!!
Did Lenny have to fill one of these out when hooking up with his inflatable doll? ...PR...
03-29-2007, 08:36 PM #3
03-29-2007, 08:54 PM #4
I wish I had done one of those up before I got married.
You forgot the part about bringing ones own cab fare so they don't have to spend the night.....
03-29-2007, 08:56 PM #5
god, i must've had that saved on my computer from back in junior high or high school or something.... one of those things i saved in my "junk" folder on my computer that i decided to skim thru today out of boredom and read thru all the ex-gf junk and funny forwards i've saved over the years.
03-29-2007, 09:34 PM #6
03-29-2007, 11:42 PM #7
I'm SOOO gonna print one up and throw it in the truck...
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