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Thread: Sex Contract

  1. #1
    EZ Dock of Long Island Shibby1485's Avatar
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    Sex Contract

    SEX CONTRACT


    I, _______________________, hereby surrender all possibilities of friendship, commitment, marriage, guilt-trips and near-pregnancies in exchange for one (1) night of USDA approved fondling and fornication. I will not return to the scene of said activities, nor call, write or otherwise contact/harass or vex said co-signer of contract for a time of no less than thirty (30) days and nights after said activities have been fulfilled. I also surrender all rights to propagate rumors, misnomers and dirty looks in the cafeteria from myself and friends, and will treat said co-signer with all the respect due a stranger. I will say "hi" if we pass within ten (10) meters in a friendly, if not neutral, tone. I will also upon completion of heretofore listed activities not leave underwear, earrings or other insignificant yet oh-so-valuable knick-knacks lying about or hidden somewhere in the co-signer's abode for the sole purpose of returning to said abode and breaking the no-contact agreement of this document. I furthermore state that I am of sound mind and desirable body, and will not call said co-signer by any other name than is his or her own, nor reminisce on some former slime-ball/great lover who wore the same cologne, roll-on, boxer shorts or robe. I will also pay one-half of all laundry fees as needed after prescribed activity.





    Signed,

    _____________________________________
    Fornicator At Large


  2. #2
    that is hilarious!!!

    Did Lenny have to fill one of these out when hooking up with his inflatable doll? ...PR...

  3. #3
    jimboman's Avatar
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    Excellent!

    Where in the hell did you find that?

  4. #4
    Moderator boataddict's Avatar
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    I wish I had done one of those up before I got married.
    You forgot the part about bringing ones own cab fare so they don't have to spend the night.....

  5. #5
    EZ Dock of Long Island Shibby1485's Avatar
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    god, i must've had that saved on my computer from back in junior high or high school or something.... one of those things i saved in my "junk" folder on my computer that i decided to skim thru today out of boredom and read thru all the ex-gf junk and funny forwards i've saved over the years.

  6. #6
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
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  7. #7
    FIRED!!! JP's Avatar
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    LMAO

    I'm SOOO gonna print one up and throw it in the truck...

    JP

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