Thread: PWC magazines... blah
05-13-2007, 02:14 PM #1
PWC magazines... blah
Paraphrased for comic relief........
United Nations to Provide Emergency Adjective Supplies to Los Angeles Watercraft-Journalist Community
Los Angeles (AP) Disaster relief officials announced here Tuesday that United Nations aid workers would begin airlifting emergency supplies of adjectives, pronouns and adverbs to idea-impoverished watercraft journalists decimated by years of concept drought.
The first shipments of supplies, in the form of crates packed with synonyms for the word “acceleration” was air-dropped by Royal Netherlands Air Force C-130’s on Monday evening. Police forces were called in to quell crowds of magazine and website staffers battling for handfuls of the long-awaited words.
“This is wonderful”, said one emaciated writer, choking back tears as he shoveled clumps of tiny black characters into the gaping maw of his I-Book. “I really thought my career was over. How many times can you use the phrase ‘stump-pulling torque’ or 'dry-ride' and get away with it?”
The disaster relief was much needed by a region of the Los Angeles basin inhabited mostly by small bands of nomadic motorcycle, watercraft, ATV and automotive journalists.
“Once the southern Los Angeles basin was teeming with colorful groups of journalists who thrived on a vibrant publishing economy” said Lance Holstein, author of The Fat and the Slow: a History of Watercraft Journalists “but two decades of corporate publishing mergers, cable TV, and the senseless violence of three seater shootouts and middleweight economy craft wars have taken their toll. Few of these proud, fierce people remain to roam the twisty ribbons of water that make up their native habitat.”
05-13-2007, 03:54 PM #2
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