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  1. #1

    I want to be open and honest

    because mudslinging is becoming pretty common. So nobody ever tries to dig up dirt on me and spread it everywhere I will just get all my skeletons out in the open.

    Once I got a ticket for not wearing a life jacket.
    I've had some speeding tickets in the past.
    When I was 17 I made a bomb with some freinds and blew up a portable shithouse.
    When I was 18 I recieved a ticket for fishing after 9:00pm in a conservation lake.
    I smoked a joint when I was 22 and I did inhale but it put me to sleep.
    I drank before I turned 21.
    I had sex before I was married.
    It wasnt always safe sex.
    I have been known jerk off when theres nothing better to do and Im home alone with porn.
    When I was 25 I did a line off a strippers a$$.
    I got caught drag racing and was given a C&I for speeds in excess off 100 mph.
    4 days later I passed my wife on the highway at 186mph just because I wanted to get my moneys worth for the ticket. (she was pissssed off!!)
    I cheated on a math test when I was in high school.
    I had sex with my calculus proffesor's daughter in college.
    I wanted to have sex with my calculus profesor/with her daughter.
    I once spent a whole weekend in a hotel room with a woman and never asked her name.
    A cashier once gave me $1.50 to much change and I didnt go back and tell her when I realized it.
    I've been late for work more times than I can count.
    I've told people I was busy when I really was'nt doing anything but sitting on my ass.
    I've given women compliments I didnt mean when I knew it would get me laid.
    I've thrown sh!t away before when it could have gone to charity.
    I dont recycle.
    I forgot my wifes 32nd B-day.
    I forgot our 10 year anniversary.
    I've got a hemroid that sometimes bothers me when I ride in choppy water for extended periods.
    I have my wife shave my back and balls sometimes.


    Now I feel better that everything is out in the open and I have nothing else to hide. Even though most of it is from the past (now days I just dont have time for that kind of stuff anymore ), I would hate to think one of those things would have been brought out in the open If I had an argument with someone.


  2. #2
    Moderator Insanediego Joe's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Moderator The Bandit's Avatar
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    Too frikkin funny

  4. #4
    Hey pork! Tell us more about the Calculus teacher daughter combo? Prepartion H works good on Hemroids! I have my wife shave my junk once in a while too!

  5. #5
    Duke's Avatar
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    So now I know who I'm dealing with!!! Thanks for being so honest and I can judge any future transactions with caution!

    Actually I think I'm jealous.

  6. #6
    red rider's Avatar
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    Nice!! :

  7. #7
    ADAMBOMB's Avatar
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    Hahah Are you sure there is nothing else???

  8. #8
    sleeplessnMS's Avatar
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    Waveland,MS
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    Now dats sum funny chit! I can atmit to a few of those! Ok alot of em

  9. #9
    bwahahah now that was awsome!!!!

  10. #10
    Caution raider fan in the area !!
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    too, cool .

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