Thread: I want to be open and honest
08-07-2007, 11:22 PM #1
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
I want to be open and honest
because mudslinging is becoming pretty common. So nobody ever tries to dig up dirt on me and spread it everywhere I will just get all my skeletons out in the open.
Once I got a ticket for not wearing a life jacket.
I've had some speeding tickets in the past.
When I was 17 I made a bomb with some freinds and blew up a portable shithouse.
When I was 18 I recieved a ticket for fishing after 9:00pm in a conservation lake.
I smoked a joint when I was 22 and I did inhale but it put me to sleep.
I drank before I turned 21.
I had sex before I was married.
It wasnt always safe sex.
I have been known jerk off when theres nothing better to do and Im home alone with porn.
When I was 25 I did a line off a strippers a$$.
I got caught drag racing and was given a C&I for speeds in excess off 100 mph.
4 days later I passed my wife on the highway at 186mph just because I wanted to get my moneys worth for the ticket. (she was pissssed off!!)
I cheated on a math test when I was in high school.
I had sex with my calculus proffesor's daughter in college.
I wanted to have sex with my calculus profesor/with her daughter.
I once spent a whole weekend in a hotel room with a woman and never asked her name.
A cashier once gave me $1.50 to much change and I didnt go back and tell her when I realized it.
I've been late for work more times than I can count.
I've told people I was busy when I really was'nt doing anything but sitting on my ass.
I've given women compliments I didnt mean when I knew it would get me laid.
I've thrown sh!t away before when it could have gone to charity.
I dont recycle.
I forgot my wifes 32nd B-day.
I forgot our 10 year anniversary.
I've got a hemroid that sometimes bothers me when I ride in choppy water for extended periods.
I have my wife shave my back and balls sometimes.
Now I feel better that everything is out in the open and I have nothing else to hide. Even though most of it is from the past (now days I just dont have time for that kind of stuff anymore ), I would hate to think one of those things would have been brought out in the open If I had an argument with someone.
08-07-2007, 11:34 PM #2
08-07-2007, 11:37 PM #3
08-07-2007, 11:37 PM #4
Hey pork! Tell us more about the Calculus teacher daughter combo? Prepartion H works good on Hemroids! I have my wife shave my junk once in a while too!
08-07-2007, 11:38 PM #5
So now I know who I'm dealing with!!! Thanks for being so honest and I can judge any future transactions with caution!
Actually I think I'm jealous.
08-07-2007, 11:40 PM #6
08-07-2007, 11:41 PM #7
Hahah Are you sure there is nothing else???
08-07-2007, 11:45 PM #8
Now dats sum funny chit! I can atmit to a few of those! Ok alot of em
08-07-2007, 11:49 PM #9
08-08-2007, 12:02 AM #10
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
- Sacramento, California, United States
too, cool .
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