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  1. #1
    Moderator shawn alladio's Avatar
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    A post: When someone has lost a loved one

    WHEN SOMEONE HAS LOST A LOVED ONE

    IN A DROWNING ACCIDENT...



    WHEN SOMEONE HAS BEEN TRAUMATIZED AS

    A WITNESS TO A DROWNING INCIDENT...



    If you have lost a loved one to drowning or witnessed someone drown...



    ∑ Recognize that you are in shock.

    ∑ If the physical remains have been recovered, you will begin the natural grieving process, but the emotional trauma will also need a lot of time to heal.

    ∑ If the physical remains are missing (for example if your friend or loved one is "missing and presumed drowned") this may lead to a prolonged ordeal with the search and recovery process and a great deal of exposure to trauma if you remain on scene or participate in the recovery efforts.

    ∑ There is GRIEF. And there is TRAUMA.

    ∑ Drowning deaths are always traumatic. Educate yourself about the normal grieving process, as well as traumatic grief and post-traumatic stress.



    THINGS TO TRY TO RELIEVE SOME OF THE STRESS:



    Structure your time-keep busy...

    ∑ Periods of strenuous physical exercise, alternated with relaxation will help alleviate some of the physical reactions

    ∑ You are normal and having a normal reaction - do not label yourself as "crazy" even though things may feel slightly crazy at the moment



    ∑ Talk to people - talk is the best medicine



    ∑ Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol



    ∑ Reach out - PEOPLE DO CARE



    ∑ Maintain as normal a schedule as possible



    ∑ Spend time with others if it feels right to do so, but allow for quiet reflection as well



    ∑ Help your family, friends, and co-workers as much as possible by sharing your feelings and checking out how they area doing



    ∑ Give yourself permission to feel rotten and share your feelings with others



    ∑ Keep a journal; write your way through those sleepless hours



    ∑ Do things that make you feel good



    ∑ Realize you are under stress



    ∑ Don't make any big life changes



    ∑ Do make as many daily decisions as possible which will give you a feeling of control over your life. i.e. if someone asks you what you want to eat, answer them even if you are not sure



    ∑ Get plenty of rest



    ∑ Recurring thoughts, dreams, flashbacks are normal - don't try to fight them - they should decrease over time and become less painful



    ∑ Eat well balanced and regular meals (even if you don't feel like it)



    FOR FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS

    ∑ Listen carefully



    ∑ Spend time with the traumatized person



    ∑ Offer your assistance and a listening ear, even if they have not asked for help



    ∑ Reassure them that they are safe



    ∑ Help them with everyday tasks like cleaning, meal preparations, caring for the family, etc.



    ∑ Give them some private time



    ∑ Don't take their anger or other feelings personally



    ∑ Don't patronize them with platitudes, including comments like, "Don't worry, your loved one is with God now..." Traumatized and grieving people are not always consoled by those statements. Instead tell them that you are sorry that such an event has occurred and that you want to support and assist them in whatever ways will be useful to them





    Education is a vital part of the healing process. Review the information posted on our website, as well as the archive of email messages.



    We are here for you.



    Members of the Drowning Support Network



    http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group...SupportNetwork
    __________________


  2. #2
    txgp1300r's Avatar
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    I went under water and pulled a guy out of the lake from a boating accident....he later stated that he had given up and knew he was going to the bottom till he saw me coming for him....It leaves a very nice feeling for years to come knowing that on that day tradgedy was overted. I still feel good about it....if it had been the other way around I think I would feel bad everytime I go to the lake. He certanly feels good about it

  3. #3
    MR. SCOVILLE UNIT SUCKMYWAKE's Avatar
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    I Broke Thru The Ice Once To Save My Buddy Who Had Fallen In And Was Being Pulled Along By The Current . I/we Found A Spot Where We Thought He Would Be Going Past And We Jumped And Jumped And Broke Thru Just As He Was Coming By. Grabbed Him And Pulled Him Up. It Was Very Scary Seeing The Look On His Face Him Under, Me On Top, With Just A Few Inches Of Frozen Water Seperating Us

  4. #4
    txgp1300r's Avatar
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    Gives me chills...I have never seen a frozen lake....your buddy under the ice is a horror storey...glad yall got him back....that IS pucker factor.

  5. #5
    Moderator shawn alladio's Avatar
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    Wow!

    Those are wonderful intervention miracles! That makes life so sweet. And that is the sign of a real hero. Not somebody who trains for rescue, but a person who steps outside of themselves and does something beyond their scope and knowledge and reaches out. That is what a real hero is to me. I salute both of you and for coming home safely yourselves.
    Shawn

  6. #6
    MR. SCOVILLE UNIT SUCKMYWAKE's Avatar
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    i was 12 years old at the time, he was 15. the rest of the group about same age. we are still friends to this day

    i am one who never panics during a crisis. i get super focused on what has to be done
    i have done cpr on a heart attack victim
    i have climbed into a burning car looking for trapped occupants
    i have been first on the scene in numerous car accidents to render aid
    never thought twice about risking my own life, because i know there are those that will do the same for me. i salute you shawn
    Last edited by SUCKMYWAKE; 10-30-2007 at 09:03 PM.

  7. #7
    Matthew K ReDevilRXP's Avatar
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    Thats how you know have true friends, when they are willing to put their own life at risk to save yours. I know i would of done the same for anyone of my close friends too.

    When i was 11 i was at a graduation party and my friends house and we were playing some stupid game. There was one kid that didnt know how to swim at all and somehow he tripped and fell in the pool and i was the olny kid that saw him and i jumped in a pulled him to the side. HE was smart though because durring the party he let everyone know that he did not know how to swim an ounce to make sure no one pushed him in as a joke but it also helped me be on the gun because right when i saw him fall i jumped in to get him but if he did not tell us that he didnt know how to swim i probably wouldnt of thought anything of it. This incident doesnt even compare to SMW's but just thought i would share it.

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