Thread: So, U want to date my daughter!
02-07-2008, 07:18 PM #1
So, U want to date my daughter!
APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
*NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a certified financial statement, job history, and current medical report from your doctor. Please be prepared to submit additional information, such as a psychological profile and/or a polygraph test, as requested.
Today's Date _________________
Name _________________________________________ Date of Birth _______________
Social Security #_________________________ Driver’s license # __________________
IQ __________ GPA __________
Home Address __________________________________________________ ___________
How long have you lived at your present address? _______________
Home phone number____________________Cell phone number_________________
E-mail address___________________________________________ ______
Do you have one male and one female parent? If not, explain:
Do you own or drive a van?___Do you own or drive a truck with oversize tires? ___
Do you own or have access to a waterbed? _____
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? _____
Do you have a lip, chin, eyebrow, cheek or jowl piercing? _____
Do you have a tattoo? _____
Do you wear make-up? _____
(If you answered YES to any of the last 7 questions, discontinue application process and find the nearest exit).
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does "Abstinence" mean to you?
Do you believe in God? _____
(If you answered NO, you are automatically disqualified from the application process and will not be considered. Should you find God, you may re-apply in six months).
What is your Church affiliation? __________
How often do you attend? __________
Best time to interview your Preacher? __________
Your Parents? __________ Your Employer? __________
Have you ever been fingerprinted? __________ If yes, explain ______________________
Have you ever had a DNA sample taken & recorded?_____ If yes, explain____________
Answer the following questions under oath:
The one thing I hope this application does not ask about me is:
A Woman’s place is in the:
My greatest fear is:
When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her: _______________________
*Note: If your answer begins with a T,B, J or A, LEAVE AT ONCE! For your safety, keep your head low and run in a serpentine fashion.
CERTIFICATION OF ACCURACY BY APPLICANT: I swear all information above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge, under penalty of death, dismemberment, Chinese water torture, and red hot pokers.
(If you have to ask what this means, you are a MORON! Tear up this application and leave immediately!)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write.
If your application is selected, our daughter's sibling will accompany you on all dates.
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties, and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back).
02-07-2008, 07:22 PM #2
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Odessa, TX
Do you really want the people on this site signing up for this? After all they let me in
02-07-2008, 07:27 PM #3
02-07-2008, 07:30 PM #4
=d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d>
02-07-2008, 07:33 PM #5
Think I will take a pass on your daughter.. Going to stick to strippers and bartenders..
02-07-2008, 07:43 PM #6
02-07-2008, 07:48 PM #7
Should I email, fax or mail mine in?
02-07-2008, 07:51 PM #8
02-07-2008, 07:59 PM #9
Psst it is not in the kitchen but in the Bedroom!!!!! LOL
02-07-2008, 10:50 PM #10
so, whats she look like? how old is she
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