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  1. #1
    Duke's Avatar
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    Exclamation So, U want to date my daughter!

    APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

    *NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a certified financial statement, job history, and current medical report from your doctor. Please be prepared to submit additional information, such as a psychological profile and/or a polygraph test, as requested.


    Today's Date _________________


    Name _________________________________________ Date of Birth _______________


    Social Security #_________________________ Driver’s license # __________________


    IQ __________ GPA __________


    Home Address __________________________________________________ ___________



    How long have you lived at your present address? _______________



    Home phone number____________________Cell phone number_________________



    E-mail address___________________________________________ ______


    Do you have one male and one female parent? If not, explain:



    __________________________________________________ _________________________


    Do you own or drive a van?___Do you own or drive a truck with oversize tires? ___


    Do you own or have access to a waterbed? _____


    Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? _____



    Do you have a lip, chin, eyebrow, cheek or jowl piercing? _____


    Do you have a tattoo? _____



    Do you wear make-up? _____

    (If you answered YES to any of the last 7 questions, discontinue application process and find the nearest exit).

    In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?


    __________________________________________________ _________________________



    __________________________________________________ _________________________


    In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?


    __________________________________________________ _________________________



    __________________________________________________ _________________________


    In 50 words or less, what does "Abstinence" mean to you?


    __________________________________________________ __________________________



    __________________________________________________ __________________________



    Do you believe in God? _____

    (If you answered NO, you are automatically disqualified from the application process and will not be considered. Should you find God, you may re-apply in six months).


    What is your Church affiliation? __________


    How often do you attend? __________


    Best time to interview your Preacher? __________
    Your Parents? __________ Your Employer? __________


    Have you ever been fingerprinted? __________ If yes, explain ______________________



    __________________________________________________ ___________________________


    Have you ever had a DNA sample taken & recorded?_____ If yes, explain____________



    __________________________________________________ ___________________________

    Answer the following questions under oath:

    The one thing I hope this application does not ask about me is:


    __________________________________________________ __________________________


    A Woman’s place is in the:


    __________________________________________________ __________________________


    My greatest fear is:


    __________________________________________________ ___________________________


    When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her: _______________________
    *Note: If your answer begins with a T,B, J or A, LEAVE AT ONCE! For your safety, keep your head low and run in a serpentine fashion.

    CERTIFICATION OF ACCURACY BY APPLICANT: I swear all information above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge, under penalty of death, dismemberment, Chinese water torture, and red hot pokers.


    ________________________________________
    SIGNATURE
    (If you have to ask what this means, you are a MORON! Tear up this application and leave immediately!)

    Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write.


    If your application is selected, our daughter's sibling will accompany you on all dates.


    If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties, and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back).



    01/08


  2. #2
    The ski's have taken a "backseat" to the Corvette DarthAWM's Avatar
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    Do you really want the people on this site signing up for this? After all they let me in

  3. #3
    FIRED!!! JP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarthAWM View Post
    Do you really want the people on this site signing up for this? After all they let me in
    Duke-
    Post up a family pic...

    JP

  4. #4
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
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    =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d> =d>
    +10

  5. #5
    red rider's Avatar
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    Think I will take a pass on your daughter.. Going to stick to strippers and bartenders..

  6. #6
    Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarthAWM View Post
    Do you really want the people on this site signing up for this? After all they let me in

    If you read the app you will know I'm safe! No one here even comes close.

  7. #7
    cheatin' piston popper addicted's Avatar
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    north jersey
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    Should I email, fax or mail mine in?

  8. #8
    Nothin' runs like a Deere IowanGPR's Avatar
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    Waterloo, IA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duke View Post
    A Woman’s place is in the:


    __________________________________________________ __________________________

    this one's too obvious, the kitchen!

  9. #9
    Water Bum Rodneyae's Avatar
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    Roanoke, Va
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    Psst it is not in the kitchen but in the Bedroom!!!!! LOL

  10. #10
    SHO stopper palmbeach jesse's Avatar
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    palm beach fl
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    so, whats she look like? how old is she

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