02-23-2008, 01:12 PM #1
Leadership Values-discussion about various perceptions and insights
The Secret Great Leaders Know About Emotion
by Steve ----Bookmark on del.icio.us---- I used to believe my emotions were a weakness, and Iím sharing this information with the hope you can avoid the painful lesson I had to learn.
Do you believe your emotions are weaknesses you must suppress to succeed? What if I told you that your emotions were not an obstacle to success but a critical ingredient in your success?
I believed my emotions were a weakness, and the results were ugly.
About two years ago, I read a couple of books that explained my problem and what to do about it. The first was Executive EQ and the second was Leadership: The Inner Side of Greatness.
Here are some of the secrets in these books:
Great leaders accept their feelings and allow themselves to feel their feelings fully. Thatís right! They allow themselves to feel their fear in all its intensity. They donít try to suppress it or step around it or deny it. They donít fight it. They accept it and feel it. A great leader doesnít believe something is wrong with him when he feels a particular feeling. Wow! What an eye opener! Tiger Woods feels fear too! He knows that denying his feelings leads to physical and emotional exhaustion. I never knew that. I thought I was a freak for feeling the things I felt.
Great leaders know the difference between conscious emotional action and impulsive emotional re-action. Some might call this emotional maturity. When children feel angry they may hit people or break things. This is an emotional re-action. Some of us donít know how to stop re-acting impulsively to our emotions and it carries into adulthood. When we feel a particular way, we re-act negatively or we channel one emotion to a different emotion and re-act incongruently. For example Ė a man may feel that he cannot re-act to his sorrow, so he channels his sorrow into anger and re-acts violently instead. It is impulsive re-action most people think of when they imagine an emotional person.
Great leaders feel their emotion, name their emotions, and act on them. For example: A great warrior will feel her fear in battle, understand that she is afraid, and interpret it as a message to act with courage. A Native American friend once told me, ďIn my culture, we are taught to trust our feelings. We do not shun feelings. We understand they are messages from nature that we need to take action. Feelings are messages from the spirit world.Ē
Great leaders trust their intuition. Intuition is the art of knowing without reasoning. Great leaders know that intuition is the shortcut to making great decisions quickly. We can all access our intuition if we learn to listen to our hunches. As a child, I solved complex math problems correctly using only intuition, and the teacher punished me for cheating and told me what I was doing was impossible. I had no desire to write out pages of work to solve a problem that I already knew the answer to. After that, I gave up on math and my intuition. I learned the lesson my teacher was teaching. It took me almost thirty years to unlearn that lesson.
Great leaders broadcast positive emotions. Great leaders have learned to use their minds to feel and broadcast Love, Hope, Desire, Sex Appeal, Confidence, Joy, Trust, and Faith to other people. Watch the great speeches from MLK to Steve Jobs. How do they make you feel? Where do you think that comes from?
Great leaders do the seemingly impossible using imagination combined with positive emotion. They create a novel, a piece of artwork, a political movement, a military victory, an invention, or a great theory, by first imagining it in detail while feeling positive emotions like passion, love, and faith. Without intense focused emotions, there would be no world changing creations.
When I was child, people told me I was overly sensitive. Since the second grade, I believed I had an emotional birth defect that I had to overcome.
Iíve always felt that I was able to walk into a room and sense other peopleís feelings. If someone was secretly angry, I could feel it. If someone was genuine, I could feel it. If someone held resentment or hate, I could feel it. If someone was full of love, I could feel that too. This whole situation seemed insane and voyeuristic. I donít mean that I knew how other people felt; I mean that I actually felt their feelings. So if someone was talking to me while feeling afraid, I felt afraid too.
At some point I realized, that boys arenít supposed to feel that way. I began to suppress and deny my emotions because I believed they were a weakness. So in order to control the re-actions which revealed my emotions, I suppressed and denied my sadness, fear, or any other emotion that could lead to a socially damaging re-action.
The results of this method of self-denial were devastating. I turned into an emotional black-hole, devoid of empathy, with all my denied emotions manifesting in destructive actions (substance abuse, criminal activity, violence) and psychiatric issues (depression and panic attacks). My wife once described me as ďcompletely black and empty on the inside.Ē
My experience is an extreme example. But I believe most people suppress their emotions to some degree. Suppressing your emotions wonít solve your problems because emotions will always find a way to manifest. But there is a solution.
Your emotions are your strength, not your weakness. It just depends upon how you think about them.
To be great, learn to feel great.
This post has been listed on the Cultivate Growth and Blog Success Carnival at Cultivate Success. - Thanks Travis
Read the 10 part series on the 10 things I wish I had never believed:
#1 Why People Believe Money is the Root of All Evil
#2 Why Getting a Good Job isnít the Best Way to Earn Money
#3 The Secret Great Leaders Know About Emotions
#4 Success is 99% Failure
#5 10 Tips to Secure a Management Position without a College Degree
#6 Always Question Your Doctor - Three Stories Why
#7 How the Public School System Crushes Souls
#9 Give Me 3 Minutes and Iíll Make you a Better Decision Maker<A href="http://www.steve-olson.com/give-me-3-minutes-and-ill-make-you-a-better-decision-maker/"><A href="http://www.steve-olson.com/give-me-3-minutes-and-ill-make-you-a-better-decision-maker/"><A href="http://www.steve-olson.com/give-me-3-minutes-and-ill-make-you-a-better-decision-maker/">
02-23-2008, 01:17 PM #2
how to get in the zone
A few gems in this one....
Excerpted From The Zones of Life Book.HOW TO GET IN THE ZONE
The basis of the Zones came from studying the great men of the past; men who have forever influenced the future and caused massive changes to our life style, our thinking, and the way we view the world in which we live.
My studies of these great leaders was not only to expand my knowledge but to find out what were the common factors these great people had and whether these factors could be applied to anyone's life and the lives of those around them.
Who are the great men I studied?
Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates, the great Greek philosophers; Euripides, the Greek dramatist; Jesus of Nazareth, Leonardo da Vinci, William Shakespeare, Galileo Galilei, Johann Gutenberg, James Watt (inventor of the steam engine), William Paxton (inventor of the printing press), Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Alva Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, Henry Ford, Orville and Wilbur Wright, Winston Churchill, Edwin Herbert Land, and a host of contemporary people who have triumphed over life and become masters in their own fields.
The key question was, were these men born so talented, or did they make themselves into great masters?
Obviously, they had native intelligence, but as best as I can discover, all grew by deliberately attaining their knowledges, talents, and abilities in a methodical, ever-expanding, dedicated manner.
All appear to have been extremely literate in their fields of endeavor, and having mastered an area, would seek to expand into new areas and master them, each area concentrated on and mastered one at a time.
The most consistent common denominator of these great men was their vast vocabulary; many were either printers, writers, or orators. They all had enormous word power. That is, they not only knew how to say the words, they knew the full definitions of the words. They all could and did apply their knowledge.
Almost all were great teachers.
All had tremendous visions of what they wanted to achieve and were true to those visions, very seldom veering or being distracted from their visions.
All used their power unconditionally.
All played big games of life and caused great changes for the better.
All had great leadership abilities.
All were great communicators.
All had tremendous empathy toward their particular fields.
All these great men had high action levels and were tremendously effective at delivering what they promised.
All had great confidence in themselves and their products, often having to withstand imprisonment, torture, abuse, criticism, even death, for they challenged the fixed ideas and old paradigms of their times.
All accomplished what they set out to accomplish.
All have changed the long-term future of Earth and made it a much healthier, more civilized place.
It has taken thousands of years for the knowledge these great men unleashed to be absorbed.
It is those attributes that make up the profiles that are in this book.
All these men attained the state of mastery in their fields of endeavor.
They did this by being masters of the attributes of Knowledge, Ethics, Power, Size of Games, their identities, their abilities to communicate, empathize, act, be effective, be confident, and accomplish their goals.
These are the basic abilities that all of us must master in order to be fully ourselves and unleash our power to accomplish what we want out of our successfully living our lives.
I have designed the profiles in such a manner as to measure gradiently where you are and what you should do to achieve mastery.
You do not have to reinvent the wheel to unleash your greatness. These great men have blasted a pathway to mastery. All you have to do is follow it, be persistent, be honest, and you will arrive at mastery yourself; perhaps you will be a future great one. You could be a catalyst for change toward an even greater planet.
The way is contained in this book, but realize that you will be fighting your way upward, attempting to unlock the padlocks that you have put in place to seal up the access ways and compartments that contain your hidden powers and abilities.
This book contains many surprising powerful secrets.
It contains and defines the 100 most powerful words in the English language.
It contains the fourteen most important areas of life that go to make up your behavior, your position, your plans, and visions; that define who and what you really are, where you are going, and the quality of future you will enjoy.
This book contains the real secret power source that, if unlocked, can give you unlimited strength, awareness, abilities, and skills to achieve your most desired dreams and visions.
It unlocks the secrets of thousands of years of successful, prosperous living.
It shows you what you must do to have a happy life.
There is a special way that you must read this book, for there is such power and truth contained within it that you will find massive changes taking place in several areas of your life and relationships.
Before you even begin to read this book, you should study both the Life Analysis and the Skills Analysis profiles and become familiar with the different Zones, the columns, and the attributes in each column.
Once you have fully conceptualized the consequences of the Green Zone, you can expect amazing positive changes to take place in your life.
Whatever you do, DON'T SKIP OVER THE DEFINITIONS OF THE WORDS.
These words are the most powerful in the English language. Further, they are root words that affect the meaning and comprehension of many tens of thousands of other words.
There is a new type of leader developing on this planet and a new era is emerging.
As the old ways of living life, and the old paradigms become more and more unworkable, this new type of leader will become the future power, for this new type of leader will be in the right place at the right time.
Many tens of thousands of people are knowingly or unknowingly moving in this new direction. We have begun at this time the ending of a very long upward cycle that has taken us from the Dark Ages to the Information Age.
Huge shifts are taking place throughout the planet's work and government forces. Millions of white collar and skilled workers are finding themselves being phased out of their jobs.
This new era that is dawning is the era of Knowledgism.
The key ingredient that will drive Knowledgism forward is vast amounts of energy and the key ingredient of energy is life-force particles.
Sebastien R.N. Chamfort, an Eighteenth Century philosopher, said "A man of intellect without energy added to it is a failure." This is true also of one's Dreams and Aspirations.
Without energy to drive your Dreams and Aspirations forward, you can't be a part of the Knowledgism era.
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
By RNX in forum 4-Tec PerformanceReplies: 15Last Post: 08-03-2008, 04:56 AM
By cfnnslsq in forum 4-Tec PerformanceReplies: 2Last Post: 06-19-2008, 07:16 PM
By Sam@Coastal in forum 4-Tec PerformanceReplies: 5Last Post: 05-11-2008, 05:43 PM
By gvnitup in forum Polaris How To & FAQsReplies: 0Last Post: 05-04-2007, 04:39 PM
By Anonymous in forum Race Events and NewsReplies: 5Last Post: 10-19-2005, 11:20 AM