Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Calling in sick

  1. #1
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    League City, Texas
    Posts
    16,066
    +1
    23

    Talking Calling in sick

    I laughed so hard when I read this


    CALLING IN
    SICK



    We've
    all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:


    Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
    legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm
    lying.

    On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway,
    because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I
    had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the
    next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the
    bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had
    given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
    Initially,
    the new acquisition was no problem.


    Then
    one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife,
    Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

    "Honey! The garbage disposal
    is dead again. Please come reset it."

    "You
    know where the button is," I protested through the shower
    pitter-patter
    and
    steam. "Reset it yourself!"

    "But I'm scared!" she persisted..
    "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"

    There was a
    meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

    So
    out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged
    nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behaviour as
    extremely cowardly.

    Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my
    head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I
    remember performing.

    It struck without warning, and without any
    respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me
    into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the
    fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been
    poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at
    the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I
    unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all
    rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a
    violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my
    masculine region..

    Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or
    flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight"
    option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into
    the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.

    The impact knocked me out cold.

    When I awoke, my wife and the
    paramedics stood over me.

    Now there are not many things in this life
    worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of
    a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.

    Even
    worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all
    snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to
    suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

    Somehow
    I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the
    office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my
    head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk
    about,
    which
    it was.

    "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your
    tongue?"
    If they only knew!

    Why
    is it that only the women laugh at this?


  2. #2
    The ski's have taken a "backseat" to the Corvette DarthAWM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Odessa, TX
    Posts
    5,364
    Quote Originally Posted by RX951 View Post
    Why
    is it that only the women laugh at this?
    Because they don't have testicles and thus are incapable of empathy about injury to them.

  3. #3
    Moderator The Bandit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Wilmette, IL
    Posts
    8,373
    Frikkin hilarious. I hate cats. If that happened to me, kitty would go in the garbage disposal.

  4. #4
    guille39's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    796
    +1

  5. #5
    Water Bum Rodneyae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Roanoke, Va
    Posts
    3,083

  6. #6
    Student of Speed rxpwhistler1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Oakland County Michigan
    Posts
    708

    hahaha

    Dude, great story! Not what I expected when I opened the thread. I hear you on calling in sick, never comfortable.

    I don't mind cats, but if he so much as eyed my little nutty buddies, I would bunt him into another area code....really i would.

  7. #7
    BudLightBunnY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    North of Chi-town.
    Posts
    444
    Quote Originally Posted by GPRXP Steve View Post
    Frikkin hilarious. I hate cats. If that happened to me, kitty would go in the garbage disposal.

    You're always cracking me up!!

  8. #8
    El Tartaro luismendez25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Orlando, Fl
    Posts
    555
    That's freaking hillarious.

  9. #9
    Water Bum Rodneyae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Roanoke, Va
    Posts
    3,083
    Talk about having a bad day!!!!


    L

  10. #10
    Nothin' runs like a Deere IowanGPR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Waterloo, IA
    Posts
    1,608
    hilarious!

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. radio call-in
    By raceneked in forum Open Discussion
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-22-2013, 09:57 AM
  2. Calling PROP experts - RXP-X prop in 07 impeller housing?
    By Jim-C180 in forum 4-Tec Performance
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-28-2010, 08:36 AM
  3. IHBA in Augusta Ga. calling all FAST skis
    By Hypertoys in forum Race Events and News
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-21-2009, 10:58 PM
  4. Sick of carpet in my C180
    By xrsrolla in forum Sea Doo Sport Boats
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-26-2008, 10:13 AM
  5. Call me crazy, but traded in my vic...
    By Pale Rider in forum Sea Doo Open Discussion
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 05-24-2006, 05:39 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •