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  1. #1
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
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    Cool Life is tough, but tougher if you're stupid !

    How do these people survive?

    ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken Mc Nuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six Mc Nuggets



    TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "! I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.



    THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."


    FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked! the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."


    FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier & proceeded to make five "blank" copies.


    SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.


    SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"



    EIGHT Police in Radnor , Pa interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.


    NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine . The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!
    Life is tough
    It's tougher if you're stupid
    And just think::: These people VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!


  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by RX951 View Post
    ... Police in Radnor , Pa interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed...
    I got a good laugh on these but #8 warrants a serious comment. I thought the science behind the polygragh or lie detector was suspect for many years. But it was still really an eye opener when I was allowed just once to observe a real one at local sheriff's office.

    Its set up to be as intimidating as possible. Rigged with wires, video camera, one way mirrors and expert interrogators. They show the questions in advance but dont let you argue much over wording or whats relevant. They ask questions like have you ever done anything illegal in your life, anytime, anywhere whether caught or not, including minor traffic offenses? Have you ever cheated in a romantic relationship? If you ask what do you mean by cheating the response is what do you think I mean? Some of this is done in pre-test interview, machine is not on but camera is rolling with close up right on your face. Some of the questions are designed to make most people lie for "control" or baseline.

    Then there is the post test interview. How do you know what those squiggly lines mean, but they will tell you they know you are lying. And they will tell you when interview is over. You can balk or protest, but camera is still rolling. And no one promises what happens to the tape whether you pass or fail.

    I wince when I hear these expert polygraphers claim 95% accuracy because in my opinion its psychology, not science. But very effective psychology unless the subject is a psychopath or specially trained.

    A lot of people think whats the problem if you have nothing to hide? But I think thats a more difficult question than many people realize if any kind of criminal prosecution is threatened or subject has no control over what happens to that videotape.

    Only solution is to arrange a private polygraph yourself. See how person handles it before they step into that little room with the one way mirrors, video cam and expert interrogators, and lay their life bare.

    I'm sure this is not how all polygraphs are conducted esp in employment context unless its for a security clearance. But thats what I saw in case with felony charge.
    Last edited by Blue 182; 05-20-2008 at 02:34 PM.

  3. #3
    I know I'm veering off what was intended to be a light hearted thread but there is something else that is worth mentioning. The prosecutor will sometimes make this offer:

    The state will agree to drop any criminal charge if defendant "passes lie detector." But defendant must agree in advance in writing that a "fail" will be admitted into evidence at criminal trial. Thats the only way in most cases that prosecutor ever gets lie detector test admitted into evidence at trial.

    Most people dont realize that the "test" involves way more than just the 10 key questions. If you are in for a penney, you are in for a pound. Its the whole pre and post test interview. 2 polygrahers can look at same squiggly lines and draw different conclusions. But many jurors hear the person "failed lie detector" and its lights out because they think its objective science.

    Some people do walk based solely on a "pass," but agreeing to admissability in advance is still a very complicated risk to undertake in my opinion.
    Last edited by Blue 182; 05-20-2008 at 02:32 PM. Reason: Typo

  4. #4
    All hail the Chief! fullboogie's Avatar
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    There's not a criminal defense attorney in the country who would let their client take a lie detector test.

  5. #5
    captain obvious Lurker's Avatar
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    What would happen if you lied on every single question? Wouldn't make the test even more useless?

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by fullboogie View Post
    There's not a criminal defense attorney in the country who would let their client take a lie detector test.
    Obviously you know my position, its very high risk, but its done all the time out here with no attorney present. I think many people have no idea what they are getting into because tv and movies give a very distorted impression. The offer of a free walk (drop all charges) vs 10+ years if convicted creates a lot of pressure in some cases, whether guilty or innocent.

    Lurker, there are many tricks people try and pull from tack in the shoe (for pain response), drugs, sleep deprivation etc. Some people have the mental ability to deceive the interrogators with nothing. Aldrich Ames worked as Russian mole in the CIA and passed many lie detector tests over the years, despite some very suspicious behavior, like very heavy drinking and lavish life style. Its actually very difficult to stick with one strategy, like lie to every question, because of the skill of the interrogator and the intimidation most people feel. In the pre-interview, you may be asked have you ever lied at anytime in your life? Then its when, how, why? It can get very complicated very quickly.

  7. #7
    lextoy's Avatar
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    i live right near Radnor Pa.
    its a wealthy area, cops there dont do anything except bust underage rich kids parties.
    i dont think they would be smart enough to come up with the lie detector machine...
    btw what is a colander????

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by lextoy View Post
    i live right near Radnor Pa.
    its a wealthy area, cops there dont do anything except bust underage rich kids parties.
    i dont think they would be smart enough to come up with the lie detector machine...
    btw what is a colander????
    Thats great to get inside view of the local scene. Thats one thing I really like about this forum, we get a cross section of the nation.

    Funny comment about not being smart enough. That takes us right back to RX951s original point.

    A collander is a metal folding basket used in the kitchen to wash lettuce or other vegetables. I knew exactly what RX951 was talking about because a collander could fit right on someone's head and look like a helmet. It would look ridiculous to many people, but I gotta hunch its a true story.

  9. #9
    lextoy's Avatar
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    i was kidding

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by lextoy View Post
    i was kidding
    Doggone Lextoy, you got me. Here is another one to add to RX951s list:

    Hayseed from Podunk, WA waxes eloquent but doesnt check address displayed on avatars!
    Last edited by Blue 182; 05-22-2008 at 12:20 AM.

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