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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006

    'Dear IT Support

    'Dear IT Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirableprograms such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've triedrunning Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail What can I do?

    Signed, Desperate ------------------

    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

    Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

    But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

    WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

    CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. Ipersonally would recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck, IT Support ------------------

    Dear IT Support,

    18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparentlyconflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

    To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
    Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

    I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs andleft a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several

    Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

    I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that thisproduct soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

    Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could bevery unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automaticallystored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.

    They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

    Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, andcan, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latterproductshave no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

    Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needsto be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itselfto my Audi TT Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

    Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

    Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself'

  2. #2
    Moderator beerdart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

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