Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    ramnj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,713

    THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

    My tire was thumping.

    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

    Heard your wife left you,

    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    Looking back over the years

    that we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    I've always wanted to have

    someone to hold,

    someone to love

    After having met you ..

    I've changed my mind.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.

    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.

    ################################################## ##

    Congratulations on your promotion.

    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.

    ************************************************** ******************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

    When we were together,

    you always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.

    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    We have been friends for a very long time ..

    let's say we stop?

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

    I'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.

    ================================================== ===

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?

    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

    Your friends and I wanted to do

    something special for your birthday

    So we're having you put to sleep.

    )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    So your daughter's a hooker,

    and it spoiled your day.
    Look at the bright side,

    it's really good pay.


  2. #2
    Happily Self-Employed WFO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    12,801
    +1
    450
    Good ones !!!


  3. #3
    R.I.P. 11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Santa Monika, People's Republik of Kalifornia...
    Posts
    1,571
    +1
    2
    I'll email that one to my father in law so he can use it with the witch...

    I'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.

  4. #4
    ABBOTT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Birmingham, AL / Lay Lake
    Posts
    3,736
    +1
    96
    pretty good!!

  5. #5
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    League City, Texas
    Posts
    16,066
    +1
    23

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Things that really annoy me to no end....
    By WATER WOODY in forum Videos & Pictures
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 08-20-2010, 03:37 PM
  2. Things That Fly Around My Backyard
    By jetskibrian in forum PWC Fishing
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-14-2010, 03:56 PM
  3. Things that irritate you about our hobby
    By DaGoblinEatR in forum Yamaha Open Discussion
    Replies: 91
    Last Post: 05-07-2008, 11:22 AM
  4. Things that make you go mmmmmmmmmmm
    By spaulding in forum Open Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 08-25-2007, 05:55 PM
  5. Things that don't work
    By Nickeljet in forum Yamaha PWC Performance (2-stroke)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 04-19-2007, 11:46 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •