10-27-2008, 10:59 PM #1
Please Read, my english paper revolving around Greenhulk.net
Project was to recreate the lost book of the odyssey.. this is my take on the lost book
haven't read over/edited it.. so hope it's not Too bad...
just copied and pasted from word document.. double spaced font 12 this is 7 pages long. Double spaced were part of the rules of the paper.. hope you read this to enjoy!
Book 87.7“Telemachus, please it is your time, you need to do this.” said Odysseus. “You need to build this ski, and attend the national gathering, or else you will be laughed at by the gods.” “Father, I have watched you for many years, and I give you my word that I will take over, and attend to the gathering of Mudbug,” replied Telemachus. Odysseus has attended Mudbug since the year 2007, and is now slowly exiting the sport, and passing his title to Telemachus’ hands. Later, Telemachus ponders what to do, and what to bring to Mudbug. He knows that it has to be something great, to keep his name up in the world. Although tough competition, he believes he can build something that will be a great ski down at Mudbug, and something that he will be riding for a very long time. He can upgrade it to make it go faster with ease. Even if he doesn’t have a ski that is fast, compared to the others, he knows that he will have a great time.By: Kale Joyce
Although Telemachus has seen his father Odysseus build and prepare for this world wide gathering known as Mudbug, he has never gone. He is unsure of himself, wondering if he should really go or not. He knows he should go, and that it would probably end up being a great experience and one that will make his father proud. Telemachus decides to continue on, and proceeds to build up his secret plans for his ski. He plans his route to get to Morgan City, and begins his project!
Starting with only a simple few parts, he decides to get online, and search on the site that originated the gathering of Mudbug known as Greenhulk.net. He gets on, and finds that there are hundreds and hundreds of parts that he can order to help build his jet ski. Although, he doesn’t wish to publically buy things, and get things from this site, he has to because of the huge disadvantage he it at compared to everyone else. He is in Ithaca, while most of the others are on the other side of the world. There is a small group that live over by Hades, but most do not go and meet with these few. He orders his parts, and within three weeks he begins to work on his secret project ski.
The progression continues on Telemachus’ build. He contacts his father, when in need of advice. He knows that he can build the ski, and will. He started with nothing, and has grown over time into a great mechanic, and someone who actually begins to know what they are doing. With the help of his number one mentor, and friend he gets to the final stages of building the ski. With the last nut and bolt that he screws on, he looks back at his memories of learning the build, and how he has received so much help from his mentor, and from the great site of Greenhulk.net.
“This help has been incredible, the true passion I have found, a love for the sport of jet skiing.” says Telemachus. (4.3.293) He continues to recall the glorious memories that have been presented to him, and proceeds to tighten the last clamp that should hopefully complete his build.
With many, many hours of work into his ski, he is finally done! Now the wait is on, and the practice begins of trying to get his ski all the way from Ithaca to Morgan City. This adventure is huge, and he knows that he is going to be venturing into seas that he has never ventured into before. He takes practice rides out in the Mediterranean Sea as he calls it, or the North Atlantic as everyone else says.
Tuesday, June 9th, 2009 and Telemachus shakes his father’s hand, and gives a kiss to his mother Penelope in goodbye.
“Thank you, father for all that you have taught me, without you this would not have been possible. And thank you mother for all the support you have brought to me. Without you two, I would not have had the courage, and knowledge to finish this build.” (4.2.493
Telemachus has a tear that rolls down his face, as he pushes off the dock and off to sea. He has mapped out his entire route that will not make it so that he shall ever run out of gas. He sets out to the open and deep blue, where he rides for miles upon miles, and hours upon hours. Eventually, he gets to the bottom of the eastern coast, and gets to the bottom tip of the Florida. After cruising down from Ithaca, New York, he takes a long break in Florida from the many, many hours of riding he has done.
Telemachus stops in Miami, where he quickly adapts to the warm climate, and sunny beaches. He gets up relaxes for 2 fast days, in the Hot Miami sun. Noticing the deep tan he gets, and calming/relaxing area he is in, he doses off to bed for what seemed to be another day. 3 days later when he REALLY woke up and left, he rounded third base, and took off west. West he went, stopping later on in southern Mississippi. Here he got off his ski, and re-fueled to continue on. It was about 6pm, and the sun was just beginning to go down. He quickly ventured off, and hit the fine town of New Orleans. He knew he was close, and that tomorrow afternoon he would be at his final destination Mudbug Nationals!
June 16, 2009 Telemachus leaves New Orleans, not even close to being gumbo’ed out. He continues on, and hits a straight north into a canal. Within 2 hours of WOT (wide open throttle) in the curvy canal he makes it to Amelia Boat ramp, where he meets a couple of men who are at mudbug. They have an open spot on their trailer, and take Telemachus to the Hotel where everybody is staying at.
“Hello everyone, I Telemachus am son of the great Odysseus, and am here in his place for this year’s Mudbug Nationals.” Telemachus Rawrs to the massive crowd of fellow jet ski enthusiast. (4.9.382)
The gods make their way ferociously to the front of the crowd to meet and look down Telemachus. Making sure everything about him is respectable compared to his father. Eventually, the Giant himself, and king of the entire area and leaps to the front of the crowd, scaring even other fellow gods. “I Greek Hulk, am King of this area, who are you, and how do you present yourself” The King Green Hulk asked. Telemachus replied with a strong and steady voice “I Telemachus am son of Odysseus. Here to take his place, and make proud the man that taught me all that I know, my father.” The King looked at Telemachus, and removed his seat to his jet ski. After looking into the engine bay, he announces to the entire crowd that the next morning 7am sharp he will put this young Telemachus to the test by doing “simple” activities and timed races to prove him, and place himself within the crowd of people. The crowd was split into two. Some scared and unsure how the young man would handle whatever may come next, and some standing there laughing to watch the young man fail. Telemachus nodded his hand, and shook the famous Green Hulks hand.
“Make me proud my son, make me proud.” Telemachus recalls his father saying before starting his build. Following the activities, many introduced themselves to Telemachus asking about his adventure, and becoming friends with the great man that not all are seeing. Telemachus went to bed early, in that he had a big day in store for him tomorrow. Waking up nervous, he stopped at the Hotel’s breakfast bar where he could only manage to eat half a waffle, and a cup of orange juice. He packed up his gear, and ventured back out to the boat ramp with the same men that had picked him up.
With the entire group of jet skiers watching, Telemachus began his tests in proving himself to the group of people. He started by doing simple Radar Runs, and progressed to doing timed runs from a dead stop to Gros Marina (the famous hangout spot for fellow mudbuggers). Starting his test, he dropped an easy speed of 87.7mph and clocked into gros marina at 8.77 minutes. He had passed the first couple of tests, making the King himself a little nervous.
“Only one has passed all of these tests ever, and that person was me.” The king told to his following group of Greenhulk.net moderators.
With growing anger, the King Green Hulk went out, and fired his Turbo Charged GPRXP Monster, and brought it to the lake to race as a final test against Telemachus. “If you beat me, you are King, if not, you shall be banished forever!” Telemachus accepted his offer, and got up to the line to race King Hulk himself. The Arms went down, and the drag race was on! Flying out of the hole King Hulk went, Telemachus not far behind. Telemachus quickly got up to speed, and caught up to King Hulk himself. The Hulk saw Telemachus, and nailed the throttle accelerating over 90mph. Telemachus biting his teeth continued to hold the ski WOT and soon lost the race. “With all due respect sir, I would like to congratulate you on the win, and thank you for your magnificent well being in this jet skiing community. I will now be leaving to head back to my home town.” Telemachus said to the King, as he shook hands. He slide down into his seat, and began to start his ski. “Why are you leaving Telemachus?” The King asked. “Telemachus astounded turned around, and looked at the King.” “But what do you mean sir, you said for me to be banished if I lose, and that is what I had done, lost.” The King looked over his shoulder, and began to laugh with the group of moderators that were by his side. “Telemachus you just had to beat the first 3 tests, this race was just to see who the better ski was. You are officially a part of the family now, and are a respected member of the community.” the King continued to say. Telemachus not quite putting all the words together thought about it for a few minutes then lifted his face with a large smile that could not be recreated. “So, you, you mean I am a part of the community, I am not to be banished from the society?””That is correct!” The King replied.
Telemachus nearly falling off of his ski, jumped with joy! The crowd cheered, and Telemachus spent the rest of the week riding and being with his new friends. The time soon came where he had to return from his journey, and start back him to Ithaca. He thanked everyone, and said his goodbyes then took off at a quick and heart pounding wide open pull of the throttle. Everyone waved, and watched Telemachus turn the corner at the horizon to where he was not to be seen again until the following year by the fellow mudbuggers.
Arriving home, his father and mother crying with excitement to see that he has gone and returned alive, they ask how everything went. “Well, without going into deep detail let’s just say everything has gone smoothly, and I am not a respected part of the Jet Skiing community.” They all laughed and gave hugs and kisses, shook hands, and proceeded to having a big feast in the name of Telemachus. With all of the hype over Telemachus not failing in his journey, he began to think on how much he liked being in the same presence as all of his new friends, and wondering why is of such distance of them.
10-27-2008, 11:15 PM #2
oh yeah yeah, this is not meant to tick anyone off in ANY way.. I just wrote this for English, I am in no way trying to make anybody mad or cause any drama between people..
10-27-2008, 11:50 PM #3
Great job. Glad to see that you're keeping up with your homework!
BTW, if you have time to correct a small error...
“Well, without going into deep detail let’s just say everything has gone smoothly, and I am not ( shouldn't this be "I am now"?)
a respected part of the Jet Skiing community.”
Telemachus, you're not in Kansas anymore.
10-28-2008, 02:47 AM #4
geez dnt get into the grammer part of this I'd be here for days fixing stuff. But good story im impressed with the imagination and collaboration. great job grasshoppa.
10-28-2008, 07:50 AM #5
Did you want us to proof-read this and send it back? If so, we won't do it here, just in PM.
BTW, While you're in Miami, stop by to see Juris Prudence (JP)...
10-28-2008, 08:24 AM #6
Holy schmoly! Can't you use Bob, Billy, John or Max?
I assume this paper is not intended for those in the PWC community. That said, you may want to elaborate on what "Mudbug" is immediately after you mention it for the first time.
“Telemachus, please it is your time, you need to do this.” said Odysseus. “You need to build this ski (aka Personal Water Craft - PWC), and attend the national gathering, or else you will be laughed at by the gods.” “Father, I have watched you for many years, and I give you my word that I will take over, and attend to the gathering of Mudbug, (a large gathering of PWC enthusiests in the deep bayous of Louisiana)” replied Telemachus"Book 87.7
By: Kale Joyce
Not bad, but like other said...it needs some grammer clean-up. Don't let people wondering what a "ski" is and leave them clueless to what "Mudbug" is, for only two examples.
10-28-2008, 01:24 PM #7
sorry guys, it is also spaced for paragraphs in word.. when i pasted it, it became one big thing.. I spent about 2 hours revising it after I posted that
It was the rough draft paper... just thought I would show you guys and gals
thank you guys!
10-29-2008, 12:21 AM #8
HP, very creative. But here is an idea. One of my favorite Odysseus stories involves the Sirens. You know, the beautiful women who tempt mariners with their songs, causing them to steer off course.
Odysseus made his crew wear ear plugs. Crew lashed Odysseus to the mast so he could see and hear what these Sirens were about with no personal risk.
Might be able to work this in somehow. You may not yet be old enough to be concerned with such matters but remember, its all about the marketing.
10-29-2008, 06:38 AM #9
i like it. but i think if i handed this in to my english teacher, i would get an email, my school has a central email system, from her saying i was insane . even more from my teacher last year, my english 1 honors teacher was worse than my current english 2 teacher
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10-29-2008, 06:56 PM #10
There is some very esoteric terminology in it.. particularly things like 'pwc' 'mudbug' etc.. I doubt your teacher will understand it. You should elaborate a little bit more on those things or you are gong to get a paper back with a bunch of ??s on it.
Did I mention I'm an English teacher?
Thanks for giving me one more essay to read tonight
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