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  1. #1

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Augusta GA

    Stupidity award winners

    Here is the glorious winner: 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

  2. #2
    L Carlson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Bonita Springs, Florida, United States
    Hold this thought I need to go and find my magnifying glass

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Augusta GA
    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    which one is you Jr?

  5. #5
    HOSS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Kenner, LA


    Those are all good,,,but,,,I know for a FACT that raw sewage wont curl you up instantly. It takes a couple days and sometimes a week!

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Augusta GA
    Quote Originally Posted by GREENSMACKER View Post
    which one is you Jr?
    Sorry Chris I did not make this list but you did LOL
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  7. #7
    I AM A VERMIN icerat4's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

    This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

    I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.
    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    No, really? Ya think?

    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    Now that's taking things a bit far!

    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    What a guy!

    Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    See if that works any better than a fair trial!

    War Dims Hope for Peace
    I can see where it might have that effect!

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    Ya think?!

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    Who would have thought!

    Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;PoliceSuspect Homicide
    They may be on to something!

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?Oklahoma's new construction program!

    Man Struck By Lightning:Faces Battery Charge
    He probably IS the battery charge!

    New Study of Obesity Looks for LargerTest Group
    Weren't they fat enough?!

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    That's what he gets for eating those beans!


    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    Do they taste like chicken?

    Local High School DropoutsCut in Half
    Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

    ************************************************** *
    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    Boy, are they tall!

    ** *****************************************
    And the winner is...

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    Did I read that right?

    * **************************************************

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