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  1. #1
    Moderator RX951's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    League City, Texas

    Retirement Does Not Have To Be Boring !!

    Dear Mrs. Toombs:

    Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Elbert Toombs has been
    causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of
    behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping
    in any of our stores.

    We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
    Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your
    husband has caused. All complaints against Mr.Toombs have been
    compiled and are listed below.

    Mr. Wally Zimbrowski,
    Wal-Mart Complaint Department


    Re: Mr. Elbert Toombs - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Toombs has done
    while his spouse/partner is shopping:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
    people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

    3. July 7: Made a trail of pineapple juice on the floor leading to the
    rest rooms.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
    'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
    M&M's on lay away.

    6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
    carpeted area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
    other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
    bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
    cry and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
    and picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
    the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming
    the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
    using different size funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
    through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
    he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those
    voices again!!!!"

    (And; last, but not least!)

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
    while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

  2. #2
    fx160's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    gold coast australia
    now that was funny almost couldn't breathe


  3. #3
    One day at a time..... N8R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    sounds like my Grandpa

  4. #4
    ABBOTT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Birmingham, AL / Lay Lake
    Quote Originally Posted by nater 785p
    sounds like my Grandpa
    mine too

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