06-17-2009, 09:31 AM #1
Things i learned from being raised in texas
THINGS I LEARNED FROM BEING RAISED IN TEXAS
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road
with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas .
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000
live in Texas , plus a couple noone's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
'Twiced' is a word.
People actually grow and eat okra
'Fixinto' is one word.
There is no such thing as 'lunch.'
There is only dinner and then supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you
start drinking it when you're two. We do like a littletea with our sugar!
'Backwards and forwards' means I know
everything about you!
Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
You don't have to wear a watch because it
doesn't ma tter what time it is. You work until you're done
or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
You measure distance in hours. Like its 6 hours from Houston to Dallas .
You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to
'A/C' in the same day.
'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to
You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked.
Yes, Friday night high school football games is serious football!
You carry jumper cables in your car . . .
for your OWN car.
There are only four spices: salt, pepper,
Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and
international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'
We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer,
still Summer and Christmas.
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time
known as 'goin' to Wally-World.'
A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or
pop. .. . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example:
'What kind a coke you want?'
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no stinking driver's ed . .. .
if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
If you understand these jokes please forward
them to your friends from Texas (and those who just wish they were).
EVERYONE can't be from Texas .
You might say it's a gift from God!
And the most important thing we learn growing up in TEXAS is...
IN GOD WE TRUST
06-17-2009, 10:18 AM #2
06-17-2009, 11:42 AM #3
06-17-2009, 01:24 PM #4
Hey, the jumper-cable thing aint funny.
06-17-2009, 09:08 PM #5
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- McAllen TX
06-18-2009, 04:52 AM #6
I used to love the old "Don't mess with Texas" commercials. Especially the one with the B-29 bomber coming over the rise behind a truck after the guy threw some trash out of the window.
06-18-2009, 08:43 AM #7
In Indiana everything is a Coke too. haha
06-18-2009, 09:17 AM #8
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Elephant Butte New Mexico
ok..now for the New Mexican Version....
Well I enjoyed the Texas version enough to go digging thru my old email for this....Now before anybody starts on me, I'm originally from the North East..a long story how I got to New Mexico by way of Miami and New Jersey. If you want to see the Truth or Consequences New mexico newspaper to to heraldpub.com
You know you are from New Mexico...when
You've had a school day canceled because there was half an inch of snow on the ground.
You know what an Arroyo is.
Your high school's name was a Spanish word (La Cueva, Eldorado, Sandia, Manzano...)
You still call the "Flying Star" the "Double Rainbow" and it's still the best place to get dessert in the world!
There is a kachina somewhere in your home or yard.
You believe that bags of sand with a candle in them are perfectly acceptable Christmas decorations.
You have license plates on your walls, but not on your car.
Most restaurants you go to begin with El or Los.
You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.
You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.
You price-shop for tortillas.
You have an extra freezer just for green chile.
You think a red light is merely a suggestion..
You believe using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.
You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell how well armed they are just by looking.
You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.
You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.
You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.
You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Las Vegas.
You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell newspapers.
You think Sadie's was better when it was in the bowling alley and the Owl Bar was better before they put in the turn-off.
You can't control your car on wet pavement.
You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business.
You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.
Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.
All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October
You know Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.
You are afraid to drive through Mora and Espanola.
You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.
Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.
Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature and the other in the state pen.
You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.
Your car is missing a fender or bumper (or a turn signal and aligned headlights).
You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3 a.m. because you were hungry.
You know the response to the question "red or green?"
You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot- holes.
You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque, and know the Organ Mountains are not a phallic symbol!
You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor they are going to charge you extra for international shipping.
You can order your Big Mac with green chile.
You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.
You associate bridges with mud, not water.
You know you will run into at least three cousins whenever you shop at Wal-Mart, Sam's or Home Depot.
Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds. They are your lawn.
If you travel anywhere, no matter if just to run to the gas station, you must bring along a bottle of water and some moisturizer.
Trailers are not referred to as trailers. They are houses. Double-wide trailers are real houses.
A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of bread. You don't need to write it on your shopping list; it's a given.
At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.
A tarantula on your porch is ordinary.
A scorpion in your tub is ordinary.
A poisonous centipede on your ceiling? Ordinary.
A black widow crawling across your bed is terribly, terribly common.
A rattlesnake is an occasional hiking hazard. No need to freak out.
06-18-2009, 10:26 AM #9
you gotta add to the new mexico one...
you know you're in new mexico when you are at the restaurant by the marina at elephant butte and they tell you they can't serve you more than 2 alcoholic beverages in an hour...
06-18-2009, 10:45 AM #10
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Elephant Butte New Mexico
they have added some "guardrails"
to the main road going to the dam site..but there is that corkscrewy road you have to navigate to +get+ to the main road...which is likely why they started limiting drinks. I've head before 9/11 when you could drive across the dam to get there, it was a much more happening bar.
Actually the club bar at the new golf course is pretty sweet...three big screen tv's granitebar, great gals working the bar..and no limit on drinks that I've ever run into...
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